When you are hopeful adoptive parents with no definite date for a placement, there comes a time when you are at a crossroads. Do you go out and buy a bunch of baby items, just a few, or hold off entirely, waiting until you are placed with a child. This is a common question I have been hearing about quite a bit lately, and one I have been asking myself for some time.
In our case, months before we even began the home study process, Eric painted the room that will become our baby’s nursery – it’s a soft, peaceful, beautiful color we love. But now that we have been approved since July, I am beginning to think about other things that we will need when we are placed with a baby. But, like many expectant adoptive moms, I worry about jinxing our situation – which I know is completely ridiculous, but nevertheless, a worry.
Part of me feels we should purchase a few of the things we know we’ll need right away, and wait on the rest. I think doing so might be good for us emotionally. And it is a known fact that creative visualization of a situation you are dreaming of may very well help bring them to fruition. Perhaps doing a little shopping could shake things up in a good way. Then there’s the the fear many of us have in the back of our minds – looking on a fully decorated nursery with longing while it remains empty.
It can be so difficult to manage your hopes and expectations when you’re an expectant adoptive mom. When you are unmatched and waiting, you have no idea when, or in fact, whether, an adoption will take place. You run the line between incredible excitement and hopeful joy at the thought of realizing your dream to become the best mom ever and love your child unconditionally, to absolute fear of never being able to realize that dream.
For now, we are saving extra funds in a special account for some of the items we would need to purchase right away when a child is placed with us – so that feels good. We’re also doing research to learn which models of this or that are recommended. I bought one item a couple of years ago – a really beautiful Santa cookie plate. It was something I saw and right away knew it would become a keepsake that would one day play a recurring part in our child’s life. Are there things you have seen that you couldn’t resist buying? How do you feel about this issue and how did you handle it during your wait? We’d love to know!